Understanding Triggers: What They Are and How to Manage Them

We hear the term "trigger" thrown around a lot these days, but what does it really mean? In mental health, a trigger is anything that brings up a strong emotional response, often linked to past trauma. Triggers can be sensory—certain smells, sounds, or sights—or they can be relational, stemming from interactions with others. Dr. Janina Fisher, a renowned expert in trauma, explains that triggers are not just emotional reactions but actually "body memories"—implicit reminders of past experiences that get reactivated in the present.

Dr. Gabor Maté, another leading voice in trauma and addiction, describes triggers as "wounds that have not yet healed." When we are triggered, it’s not just about the present moment; it’s about old wounds being poked. Our nervous system reacts as if we are back in the original trauma, whether it was childhood neglect, abuse, or a significant loss. This can lead to anxiety, dissociation, anger, or even physical pain.

The Difference Between Being Upset and Being Triggered

A common misconception is that being triggered is the same as being upset. While both involve emotional distress, there is a fundamental difference. Being upset is a reaction to something happening in the present that we find unpleasant or frustrating. It is typically proportional to the situation and does not hijack the nervous system.

Being triggered, on the other hand, is a trauma response. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, describes trauma triggers as involuntary bodily responses that bypass rational thinking. When triggered, a person may feel as if they are reliving a past event, experiencing emotional overwhelm, or struggling to stay present. This is why triggers often lead to disproportionate reactions that seem irrational to others.

The Hard Truth About Triggers

One of the most challenging aspects of triggers is that they are not the responsibility of others to predict or manage. In today’s culture, there’s a growing expectation that the world should accommodate our triggers, but the reality is, healing happens when we take ownership of them. Expecting others to tiptoe around our past wounds may provide temporary relief, but it doesn’t actually increase our resilience. The work of trauma recovery involves learning how to recognize, manage, and reduce the power of our triggers over time.

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t advocate for safe environments or set boundaries—it just means that growth comes from working with our nervous system, not expecting the world to change for us. Radical acceptance, a concept from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), teaches us that acknowledging our triggers without judgment is the first step toward healing. Instead of resisting or feeling ashamed of being triggered, we can say, "This is happening. I don’t like it, but I can handle it."

Managing Triggers: Practical Strategies

While triggers can feel overwhelming, they are not insurmountable. Here are a few ways to work through them:

1. Grounding Exercises

• 5-4-3-2-1 Method: Name five things you see, four things you feel, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste.

• Deep Breathing: Inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for four. Repeat until you feel more present.

• Cold Water Therapy: Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice cube to help regulate your nervous system.

2. Expanding Your Window of Tolerance

• Your "window of tolerance" is your ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions such as fear, anxiety, sadness, and anger without becoming overwhelmed. The more you practice staying with mild discomfort rather than avoiding it, the more resilient you become.

• Therapy approaches like EMDR, parts work, and other trauma-informed approaches can help reprocess past trauma so that triggers lose their grip over time.

• Dr. Dan Siegel, a neuroscientist and author of The Developing Mind, emphasizes the importance of mindful awareness in expanding our ability to stay present with distressing emotions rather than becoming dysregulated.

3. Practicing Radical Acceptance

• Instead of fighting the reality that a trigger has happened, practice accepting it. You don’t have to like it, but acknowledging it without self-judgment can prevent further distress.

• Remind yourself: "This is my nervous system reacting. It makes sense based on my past, but I am safe now."

• Marsha Linehan, creator of DBT, describes radical acceptance as the key to reducing suffering, allowing us to respond to our emotions rather than being consumed by them.

Healing is an Ongoing Process

If you struggle with triggers, you’re not alone. Trauma leaves deep imprints, but those imprints don’t have to define your life forever. Healing isn’t about never being triggered again—it’s about becoming less afraid of them when they do happen. With time, self-compassion, and the right tools, you can regain control over your responses and reclaim your peace.

If you have questions about managing triggers or would like to explore therapeutic approaches, feel free to reach out. Healing is possible, and you deserve support on your journey.